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Every citizen a Mr. Potato Head. All the things I can be, eh?


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Composite selfies. Next came online social networks such as Facebook, where people curated their own images and experiences, branding themselves as this kind of person or that one for this day, this week or whatever.

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Every citizen presented a carefully curated composite selfie. This is who I am, eh? For now, this is who I am. Look, see how happy I am. Composite selfies represented big technological progress in the DIY tailoring of public personae. Algorithmic engineering. But these composite selfies were soon outsourced to AI, which performed and, where it deemed this necessary, augmented their curation.

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AI came to know better than these citizens themselves how to maximize material happiness, as officially defined and quantified, and how to promote a sense of social connectivity at a time when traditional ties of community and common purpose had withered in face of Transhumanist Techno-utilitarianism, a fundamentalism for their age. This worldview was refined and spread far and wide via the scientistic-utilitarian metrification of good and evil, globalized homogenization and God only knows what-all. Holy shit. I do have a way with words, eh?


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Everyone became addicted to ramped-up visions of what AI decided they wanted. Perfect security was the promise—safe spaces in which to endlessly divert themselves pleasurably in the company of like-minded citizens. And that was all, except that everyone should progressively do all of that more and more effectively. Maximum diversion plus maximum like-mindedness within spaces of maximum official control. Pain, dis-ease of any kind, was anathematized.

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Machines tended to every human need at the same time they themselves specified and refined these needs while reducing pain in all its forms to a vanishing minimum. No pain, all gain. My case for the defense. Home Depot announced today that hackers stole 53 million e-mail addresses using a vendor's stolen log-on credentials. It announced in September that the massive data breach allowed criminals to harvest information from 56 million credit and debit cards in the United States and Canada. Malware was the culprit. The company said that the malware, which had not been seen in other data thefts, was installed on self-checkout registers that were hacked.

The raid that killed Osama bin Laden will go down as one of the most storied in history, and now the question of who fired the shot that killed America's most wanted terrorist has been answered. He's doing a big interview with Fox News next week.

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Americans are naturally curious about what happened, but the Naval Special Warfare Command is not happy O'Neill's talking. They don't want their special warfare sailors in the limelight. Free Microsoft Office apps for iOS. The tech giant had a blockbuster release of Office for iPad earlier this year, and today it unveiled the new free Office apps for iPhone. Get ready to calculate that spreadsheet on-the-go.

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But only at red lights. A published author with a wildly popular HBO hit, Dunham has the gift of the word, but it's what she's been writing that has some questioning her. And then the commotion began.